Bad romance
by flyin'rabbit
Summary: Jesse complains about girls to his cousin, Blaine. To get him to shut up for a moment, Blaine agrees to watch a video of a New Directions performance with him. Very AU, set in between season 1 and season 2.


**A/N**: I started writing this a long time ago, so it's probably not canon compliant (it could be, though...). To be exact - this was started in the winter hiatus, before there was word about Jesse returning to the show. So when those rumours started... I wanted to get this out before PQ, which obviously didn't happen. I'm only four months late. I think the winter hiatus was also the time when there were a whole lot of stories about Blaine and Jesse being... well, something. All kinds of something. Which was why I started this. And now I'm finally posting it. It's not really a work of literature, but I hope you'll like it anyway :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Glee_ or its characters

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><p>"Girls are so weird sometimes," Jesse complained as he was lying on one of the couches in the living room.<p>

Blaine shrugged, not really knowing what to do with that information. "How come?" he therefore asked lamely. Instead of answering the question, Jesse complained a bit more. That, however, was something Blaine had grown quite accustomed to after so many years of being related.

"I mean," Jesse continued, "sometimes I'd like to just… you know? Give up on girls entirely. Maybe being gay wouldn't be so bad…" He scrutinised Blaine closely. "Sure, you have to deal with non-understanding bullies, but at least _guys_ are understandable. Heaven knows what goes through girls' heads most of the time."

Blaine just pulled a face. He didn't know what that was supposed to mean. Jesse acted as if the bullies were just some joke, which they really weren't, sadly.

"Did I tell you about Rachel already?" Jesse now asked him, and Blaine nodded slowly. He remembered Jesse talking to him about some girl he'd met just a few days before, but since he never talked about her after that, Blaine had assumed that it was nothing. Apparently, he was wrong.

"What about her?" he asked, trying his best not to scream at Jesse that he didn't really want to hear his girl problems. It only reminded him of how girls (and guys, he figured) would throw themselves at Jesse (and at Blaine's brother, Cooper, if he happened to be around), while guys didn't exactly throw themselves at Blaine. Quite the opposite, actually.

"I told you she's in New Directions, right?" Jesse continued, and Blaine nodded again. Couldn't Jesse just hurry up already? He had a lot to do today. Alright, he didn't, as the summer holiday had just begun – but still. He was not some sort of therapist his cousin could abuse just like that, even if it certainly started to look like that by now.

"Some new Glee club, right?" he asked redundantly. He had heard of New Directions – well, his friends had mentioned some school in Lima or somewhere close to that place getting a new Glee club and all that. He had never really paid attention though, and he had never heard or seen them perform. They hadn't been among the Warblers' competition for Sectionals this year, so there had been no extensive investigations.

"Yes," Jesse simply replied, and Blaine almost thought he was off the hook. Needless to say, he wasn't. Jesse told him the entire story – dramatic hand gestures included – and at the end, Blaine was frowning.

"So you left, just like that?" he asked. "That close to Regionals? Without informing them of that fact beforehand? And then you threw eggs at your… girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend? Who's a vegan?"

"Uh – yes," Jesse replied, blinking a few times, as if wondering why this seemed to bother Blaine so much.

"That's pretty harsh," he simply said, hoping that something like that would never happen to the Warblers – briefly having the best singer around in their midst, before he'd leave them so shortly before the competition and leave them almost unable to function properly. "And you still haven't told me why girls are so weird."

"Oh, right," Jesse said, seemingly having forgotten all about that already. "Well, you see – that particular relationship didn't end very well. You know… it was a pretty bad romance."

Blaine could almost _feel_ his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "Are you seriously quoting Lady Gaga here?" he asked, worrying about his cousin's sanity for a second – before remembering that Jesse's sanity must've gone down the drain pretty early on in his life, before Blaine was old enough to even remember him.

"That's exactly the point here," Jesse almost hissed. "So yes, I was. See, not very long before that dramatic event, I… didn't really go to rehearsals and such anymore. So I missed one particular performance I would've wanted to see. I mean, they taped it and I watched it later on, but still. They actually did that song, Blaine. They sang about how they wanted a bad romance, and then she gets one, and suddenly, _I'm_ the bad guy!"

Blaine groaned; was Jesse really that oblivious? "Just because they sing a song, it doesn't necessarily mean that they mean what's in the lyrics. Didn't you sing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ at Regionals? You can't tell me you completely agree with everything that song says, can you?"

"Fine," Jesse grunted. Blaine knew that he hated it when he was wrong about something. "Hey, wanna see that video?"

"What, _Bohemian Rhapsody_?" Blaine asked wearily. "I think you've shown me that particular performance about twenty times already. No thank you."

"No, I wasn't talking about that," Jesse reprimanded him. "Although, it would be nice to see it again… I meant _Bad Romance_. Hey, I only just realised – they have the same initials."

"What a life-changing observation," Blaine deadpanned. "And sure. It's better than listening to you, whining about your love life that actually _exists_."

"I thought they would've taught you _some_ manners at that private school of yours," Jesse told him, smirking.

Blaine rolled his eyes at his cousin. "You're not exactly someone I would waste my normally perfectly good manners on."

Jesse covered his hands with his hands dramatically. "I'm hurt, Blaine."

"You can actually feel hurt?" Blaine retort. "I figured being part of Vocal Adrenaline had turned you into a soulless automaton."

"Let's just watch that video," Jesse said after a few seconds, obviously unable to come up with a better reaction. He stood up and started walking up the stairs – after so many years of constantly being in each other's houses, he knew exactly where Blaine's room was. Hastily, Blaine took off after him. He didn't want to leave his belongings alone with Jesse for longer than necessary.

When he arrived in his room, Jesse was already sitting behind his computer, unable to turn it on properly as the password was one of the few things he didn't know about Blaine.

"So, what were you saying about your non-existing love life?" he asked Blaine casually after the latter had successfully turned on the computer.

Blaine eyed him apprehensively. "Just… that. It doesn't exist." He shrugged. He didn't really mind that he didn't have 'someone special' at the moment. He was only sixteen, after all. He had plenty of time to meet like-minded guys, and he had accepted that like-minded guys like that were not to be found in the middle of Ohio.

Pensively, Jesse stared at him. "You know…," he started, but before he could finish that sentence, Blaine interrupted him.

"You don't have to set me up or anything," he told Jesse firmly. After all, the only people outside their family Jesse knew, were other (former) Vocal Adrenaline members. He didn't want to get involved with one of them, partly because they were soulless automatons, no matter what Jesse said, partly because that would just be plain awkward, and, last but not least, partly because he didn't want to end up in the same situation as that New Directions girl. He now knew what his cousin's old show choir was capable of, besides performing.

For a moment, Jesse looked a little disappointed. He turned back to the computer, and swiftly started the internet. Blaine pulled a face. He wasn't a very huge fan of Lady Gaga, so he actually couldn't care less about what another Ohio Glee club had done to one of her songs. Still, it kept Jesse from talking about himself for a few minutes, which was always good.

"Here it is," his cousin muttered, clicking some or other link. Blaine told himself inwardly to save that link later, in case the Warblers were to ever compete against New Directions. It might just come in handy.

The quality of the video wasn't the best, but Blaine could still make out seven figures on a stage. All seven figures were dressed entirely differently, though all costumes looked like something Lady Gaga would wear too.

At first, Blaine had thought all seven figures were girls. When the singing started, however, he was immediately proven wrong. He glanced at Jesse for a moment, but his cousin just smirked at him. They watched the video in silence, and Blaine was surprised about more things than he could name.

Why would a guy dress up like Lady Gaga and then be the only guy to perform in this number? And _why_ did it look like the only boy on stage was wearing the highest heels out of all performers? Was the girl in the pink dress pregnant, or what? Didn't the bubble dress fall apart all the time? And what was up with the Kermit the Frog look another girl was sporting? That could hardly be the most charming look she could think of.

When he fired all those questions at Jesse afterwards, his cousin just said, "That was Rachel. The girl in the dress with all the stuffed animals."

"You dated a stuffed animal collector?" Blaine asked, thoroughly unimpressed.

"I didn't know she had that many before I saw the video," Jesse admitted shamefully. "Oh – yeah, the girl in the pink dress? She gave birth right after they performed at Regionals. Shame for them – now they didn't get to see us perform."

"What did the guys do?" Blaine asked curiously. Surely they didn't sing a Lady Gaga number of their own, right?

"They sang some Kiss song," Jesse responded, shaking his head. "I'm glad I wasn't there to witness or take part in _that_." Then, he snorted slightly. "But all these people walked around in their Lady Gaga outfits for a week."

Blaine raised his eyebrows, impressed. "And no one gave them a hard time about it?" he asked. Sure, at Dalton, everyone was nice, but also wore the same uniform. He didn't know what would've happened at his old school if someone were to walk around like this.

Jesse shrugged. "Not more than usually – the girls, that is. I think some jocks did push Kurt – the guy with the wig and the immensely high heels – around more."

"He walked around like that all week as well?" Blaine asked. "Why would he, if it gets him harassed like that?" Blaine himself wouldn't have thought twice about changing out of a potentially 'offensive' outfit if anyone seemed about to bully him for it.

"I don't know," Jesse replied, sounding a little peeved. "Because he doesn't want to change who he is because of some mindless jocks. Everyone knows he's gay anyway, so maybe it wouldn't have made much of a difference." Seeing Blaine's face as he said this, Jesse continued, "He's much more flamboyant than you are, Blaine. Anyone knows he's gay upon first glance." He sighed. "But anyway. We were talking about Rachel…"

o-o-o-o-o

Months later, Blaine showed the Lady Gaga video to the council when their competition for Sectionals was announced. As he'd told himself, he had saved the link to his favourites, and later even saved the video on his computer – which turned out to be a good thing, as someone took all the New Directions videos off shortly after the start of the new school year.

He didn't want to admit it, even to himself, but he watched that video a little too much to be healthy. He was just really impressed by the performance as a whole, that was all. No one needed to know his real reason – marvel over a certain boy's voice, outfits, and moves (as he didn't want to call it 'flexibility').

Kurt wasn't wearing anything like that Lady Gaga outfit when he came to spy shortly after the competition announcement, but with that voice and those eyes, Blaine recognised him anyway.

Not that he would ever admit that.

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><p><strong>AN**: Yeah. So... And yes, it's my head canon that, had Blaine not told him off, Jesse would've tried to set Blaine up with Kurt. You know - not that Kurt would've trusted Jesse or anything but that's beside the point. Oh, and if it wasn't clear - the song starts in the auditorium here. It would be hard to explain how they got from the choir room to the auditorium within half a second. (Another note: at first, Blaine's not really into the performance, as you can see. He gradually grows to appreciate it/Kurt, though :P)

Anyway, let me know what you thought of this, please leave a review! :D


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